RAY

I still feel knocked out from last night.
I keep feeling like the room is swaying back and forth at times and I keep getting really anxious and then calm.
Today I’m wearing my new outfit. 
dark denim skinnys, canvas toms, navy draw string jacket, gold/ navy MASSIVE scarf and a raglan pull over. I’m testing new water’s today and putting my portfolio aside and using my aa back pack, which is navy of course. I hope my bond paper isn’t destroyed. 
Its funny, The day i decide to dress normal and laid back, lookbook is covered in all black outfits. Must resist.

I get to see Nicole today.
cant wait.  

This will destroy you. 

I guess this weekend has messed up my sleeping schedule. I am more awake than ever, and I feel so alone. Theres about 300 people in residence, yet I feel like I’m the only one awake. I took a walk around the school to get some air and clear my mind. It didn’t work. It almost made things worse. I noticed the several lights off and no noise.
It’s times like these I wish I had someone extremely close. Or just someone I could pick up the phone and talk too. It’s almost pathetic how back and forth I am about this place. I love it here, I really do. Thats a lie. Who am I kidding? I went from having my best-friend across the street, down the street, and only a phone call away. Now everything is long distance, too far and impossible to get to at this time. Im in a pre anxiety attack right now. I can feel it coming. Do I dare take Lorazepam? I think it would be a right idea. 

goodnight. 

I’ve almost been awake for 24 hours. I think its time for some well deserved sleep. 

Tomorrow I will wake up a stressed out lady. 
I better have an intake of 3 cups of coffee and several shots. 

On the side night, Super excited for THE WORLD OF 4 VIDEO SHOOT. 
best crew, 
best models 
best team. 
xo

a part of my hair dark red. 

After :

way too excited to get out of here and be back at home. 
can’t wait to see all the beautiful people on saturday! 

I plan to look like the female version of ville valo. 
black forever,
[ vintage long sleeve dress, combat boots and my black long military style coat. ]

Also, let me stay in Toronto forever, people here are way too sad.  

Thats my biggest dream right now.